I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
