you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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