i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
