Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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