STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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