He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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