I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
