I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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