dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we're making bets on your personal life
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
