I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
