As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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