oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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