What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize