It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize