so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
