Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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