I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
