he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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