so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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