There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
