I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
