I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
