actually, I'm a sock model
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
