I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The struggles of a small town man whore
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
i think i just lost a toe
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
