on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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