so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
