therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize