could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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