While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
should my penis look like a turkey
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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