he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
