If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
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