Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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