i think my tv is drunk
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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