omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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