I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
