I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
