His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
