i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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