Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize