Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
