I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
