I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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