And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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