people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
