dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
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