I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
