so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
