oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
