She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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