I CAN MOONWALK!
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
