I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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