Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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