This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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