school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
