What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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