Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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