After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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