She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize