At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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