a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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