is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
