that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
