I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
