he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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