I am in a vortex of obligation.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
