Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
