Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
